BIX 7 Is Going Virtual... FART NOISE

Well.

We knew it was going to happen.

The race organizers of the Quad City Times 2020 Bix7, the Prairie Farms Quick Bix and the Arconic Jr. Bix have decided to NOT cancel the July 25th event.

But wait... did we say NOT cancel.??.. You know it Peloton dude!!!!

*At this point I should warn you that if you are a virtual Peloton Douche, you should not read forward.

**Also, if you are a CrossFit Douche, you should not read forward. You only used the Bix 7 to promote your pyramid scheme gym and would hav never WOD'd 7 miles on a Saturday-- wow. I said it. I feel good.

CFD = Jerry

Peloton = Barb.

You can do it virtually. QUAD CITY You can submit your results virtually July 1st through July 25th-- like that means anything.

News flash-- your Arconic Jr. Bix photos of your child winning a medal was never really your child winning the Arconic Jr. Bix anything. No matter how many photos you posted on social media. No matter how many likes or shares you got. It never mattered-- and it doesn't this year if you virtually do it.

The Prairie Farms Quick Bix time? Your time did not matter either. It won't matter if you do it virtually. If you ever posted or shared your Prairie Farms Quick Bix time you will got the same amount of likes as the Barb and Jerry on their boat on the Mississippi River during "your" now cancelled "Bix weekend".

If you have never posted a Bix Time as someone other than yourself, have you had any fun in your life?

Next... this BIX7... it's weird.

Isn't it strange we are cancelling the #1 event of the year. Disagree with me? Name a bigger event in the QC Area?

In 1993, the flood was named the worst flood in the Quad Cites on record-- a NATIONAL DISASTER. You know what happened in July?

The Bix 7.

Last year, we had another terrible flood to the Mississippi River into Downtown Davenport. I would love to tell you that the genius minds running Davenport City Council prepared for this... but you know better.

You know what happened in July, though?

The Bix 7.

Sorry, QC. I am disappointed that we are taking away the biggest sporting event of our calendar year.

I am biased. That little girl in the featured image is my daughter. And she has been a participant in every Bix since she has been born. She is 10-- this would have been her 11th. I know that I can post online or virtual-- but I hate that crap.

My daughter doesn't run sub 8:00 miles. She doesn't bat .700. She can't pull off a perfect handspring, either.

Quite frankly, I am so shocked how great of parents and coaches you are.

I am also so equally excited and scared for your children's high school coaches.

But moving on. Bigger picture.

My concern for the QC social future... Mississippi Valley Fair might be the next cancellation.

Don't like it. Fine. Fight Jerry or Barb.

To hear more about Jerry and Barb, listen to DON'T HASSLE US WE'RE LOCAL FROM NOON - 2:00 PM M-F.