A Letter To The Idiot Driving Like A Lunatic On Locust Street

I'm not a perfect driver.  Nobody is.  But I will say, the only accident I've ever been in was when some guy backed up into my parked car.  So I've got a pretty good track record.

But one thing I feel like I am good at is not being an idiot on the road.  I am courteous when it comes to speed, not tailgating, and merging.  All the basic human elements of driving.  Cause at the end of the day, that's what it is...being human to one another as we try to get to our destination.

Most of the time, I let the idiots quickly slide off my back, and I move on.  But this one, I have the platform, so I'm telling the story.

Just Another Lovely Drive On Locust Street in Davenport, Iowa

On Monday, April 14, I was driving eastbound on Locust around 4:30.  If you've ever been, you know it doesn't look like that picture above.  There is a lot more traffic in both directions.

The speed limit in this area of Locust is 35 mph.  Other than the school zone, which is actually 25, but nobody in the Quad Cities ever slows down for school zones.

While driving home in this area, I looked into the rearview mirror and saw some sort of SUV (I think an old Ford) on my bumper.  I can't tell you what state she was from cause she was so close I couldn't read the license plate.

The first thing I did was look at my speed to make sure I didn't slowly zone out.  Nope, I was going 41.  Sorry officer.

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Now, this is where some of you might disagree with me, but that 6 mph over the limit was in the left lane of Locust.  That's still over the speed limit and screw driving in the right lane...I'm not going to destroy my car from the potholes and sinkholes on that crap road.

Then The Blood Pressure Got Boiling...But Not For Me

I could have gone 50 mph, but that would have just caught me up to the next group of cars quicker, and then we'd all be in the same spot again.

With the SUV still on my tail, a different SUV came up to my right side.  (I believe an Acura.)  And with his window down, he starts yelling at me to "move over".  Well, that deserved a middle finger straight up with a smile.  And I'm sure that didn't sit well with the idiot.  Yes, the idiot of the story isn't the person on my tailgate, it's this random guy on the right who was probably late for his anger management session.

I guess he must have been tailgating my tailgater and then pulled over to the right to tell me to hurry up.

After our encounter, all the vehicles in that area kept the same speed we were already at.  If you've been on Locust (or any road in the Quad Cities that has traffic lights), you know what happened next.  After going through one more green light, we all stopped at the same red light.  Including the group of cars that were in front of us the entire time of his road rage.

Unfortunately, he was about 2 cars behind me on the right side, so we couldn't continue our "conversation".  Which would have been him yelling and me laughing.

But here is the biggest kicker, at that red light...this idiot then turns right!  So he had to be in the right lane anyway.

Just Chill Bro

We are all trying to get somewhere.  That extra 5 mph would not have gotten you to your final destination faster...it would have just got you to the red light faster.

This is the part of the story where I'm supposed to say "Bless his heart", and "I wish him the best", and "I hope he finds peace".  But I won't.  He's an idiot.